“Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.”
                                ~ Emily Post, Famous Author on

manners and social behavior

Tactics:

Teaching good manners should start in infancy. If you allow children to be rude as toddlers it will be far more difficult when all of a sudden you expect them to learn good manners when they are older. An infant will observe the tone and manner you address others.

Children are natural mimics, so make sure you exhibit polite consideration to everyone, regardless of their station in life, not just to “those who matter.” Good manners are an entirely lost art today and they are so appreciated when they do occur. I witnessed a 7 yr. old boy who was the only one among 20 kids at a Red Sox batting practice who knew enough to call Trot Nixon “Mr. Nixon” when trying to get an autograph. Trot made a bee-line for him and complimented him on his good manners. Tell your children similar stories about the importance and the rewards of good manners.

Dinner time is a wonderful time to display good manners. Although you don’t want dinner together, which can be rare these days, to turn into yet another “test,” it is an opportunity that cannot be ignored. How you handle these opportunities is what is important. Subtle hints can do wonders. For example, sometimes instead of saying, “What should you say? Or “You should say ‘thank you’, I simply clear my throat a little which to my children is a signal that something is missing. They immediately say, “thank you” or “please,” but no one feels criticized. You can play this same idea out to address other norms of dining etiquette e.g. wiping their face properly, placing the napkin on their lap, how to ask for something instead of reaching across the table and so on. Some things must be stated, but when you do this make an effort to explain why it is considered polite. For example, asking to be excused from the table is a gesture of deference to your parents or the person that has prepared the meal, and when your children are older it is a way to tell your dinner partner that you are leaving (perhaps to the powder room) and are sorry to interrupt the conversation, but will be back rather than leave them wondering why you have disappeared.

Teach them to avoid the big “don’ts”, burping, slurping, chewing with their mouths open, big bite sizes, finger-licking, double-dipping, elbows on the table, and slouching over their plates. While dinner time is a wonderful time to share experiences of the day, let them know they should not interrupt or dominate the conversation at the table.

Teach them how to greet relatives, adult friends and guests. Show them how to shake hands with adults or appropriately hug relatives. Tell them that they must always call adults by “Mr./Mrs. / Miss unless told otherwise. Finally, remind them to always look at people in the eye when being addressed and when addressing others.

Let them know that the most important aspect of good manners is helping others and of being very conscious and considerate of the feelings of others.